Badz

2010-07-24T10:03:00.003+08:00

i now was reali veri sad n didn't reali noe wat to do next n i was totally lost... i reali hope tat i will never get hurt again, but i was wrong i still get hurt. seriously i reali hope tat u can be my only one tat i love in my heart, i was veri naive to say tat i will won ur heart. but in e end i didn't win ur heart. maybe u still haven let go ur past relationship between u n him, n u will juz worry tat dere will be another guy lyk him. i think u will noe if u read my blog. do u noe e reason why? i reali wan u to forget bout him is bcoz i dun wan to see u sad n hurt everytime, u will only make urself suffer, seriously i reali didn't wan to see u in tis stated. i noe no matter how much i say oso no use thing won't be able to change. but one thing i reali can assure tat i already fall for u.

2010-07-23T01:16:00.003+08:00

i reali hope tat i can understand u better, n noe u well. reali hope u can shared ur problem wit me. i reali didn't wish to see u hurt n burden eveything all by urself, i will always be dere to burden some of ur problem without leaving u a side no matter wat has happened.

2010-07-22T00:57:00.006+08:00

eariler i noe i shouldn't hav help to solve e problem, e more i help e more i mess up everything... maybe wat u say was rite. do u think u reali understand me issit? since u hav already say i reali didn't noe how to ans u. i noe tat i won't be able to understand u well. den wat other who knows u well and understand u more than i do... it's not easy to understand others ppl feeling, it's veri complicated. n i reali hope tat i can understand u more...

Piggy prince...

2010-07-20T00:54:00.009+08:00

i reali hope i can moved ur heart sincerly.

2010-07-16T22:43:00.004+08:00

i was reali kept in a dark, which thing tat i didn't noe at all. until now i juz found out frm my mgr profile n saw e wall which my staff hav updated to him since last mth, tat she reali didn't wan to work wit me after all n reali hate me lyk hell. coz i was e only full timer n was working full shift with her. n i was reali get stab by her without notice at all. if i not working at arena it will become better. if time can go back to e past tat will be great n i can be staying at funan forever n reject meiling requst for asking me to transfer to arena. tat will make all of us better. but thing won't be able to change back. but dere will be no way for me to turning back anymore. i reali hope tat i can treat tis as nth happened at all. but i reali can't, i hav already read it. why muz they put up a acting happie face infront of me.? why??? i dun noe e ans too... no point for me to find out tis ans oso. it's oso no use. i dun reali deserved to love or like by other. coz i noe no one likes me. if someone reali likes me they won't be treating me lyk tis... i can trust on someone tat i reali trust on my heart by 100%, but now my heart tells me u won't be able to trust anybody by 100% e rated will be low. in other words tat tells u, u trust no ones...

2010-07-01T14:10:00.006+08:00

i reali didn't noe why thing tat u didn't wan to rmb but it still came through ur mind. i will always rmb those places tat i hav been dere to buy for u e birthdae n valentine gift. although tat was already over le no point for me to think back. but it will still make me recall back e past. so much thing tat i hav done for u, in e end i can't even moved ur heart. i reali hope tat u will keep e necklace well tat i hav given u for e last of a valentine dae gift.

2010-06-22T01:46:00.006+08:00

it's reali sad for me to say to u, tat i'm letting go of u. n giving up on u. but i noe dere is reali no point for me to hang on to u. all i can say I'm not a better guy, maybe u can find someone who is reali better den me, who love u, dote u, care for u n can even bring joy to ur life. make u happie n smile everydae without fail. i reali thanks u for ur blessing, all i noe i can ever find a person tat i willing to be with together. coz tis thing will never be happened to me after all, it will be e same as last time. i was reali totally no mood to make myself smile n happy again.

2010-06-14T00:22:00.003+08:00

i reali wasn't happie everydae, i reali hav to put up a fake happie face everywhere i go, even though when i was going to work. so tat i can avoid other ppl intenton on me. but one of e chef spotted me n asked me why everytime i come to work my face will be so moody n sad. n i juz told him a lies say tat i wasn't reali moody n sad, i was juz tired n sleeply. i seldom will tell to other ppl bout how i was feeling, i rather keep for myself den letting other noe. coz i noe no point telling other how i feel it's still e same... juz pretend tat nth hav happened.

2010-06-13T00:42:00.003+08:00

hmmm, todae saw so many loving couple on e street n town everywhere i go. i'm reali veri envy for them as well to hav such a veri good n sweet memories wit their love ones.

2010-06-07T22:25:00.003+08:00

I'm juz a boring guy, i reali didn't noe how to bring up fun n joy for ppl who is around wit me. i'm e only one who make them feel bored n not entertainment. if i reali willing to change n improve myself to find a way to entertain, u all may find it lame, n i will juz make a fool of myself. haiz... i'm juz diff frm other ppl... i can't blame anyone.

2010-06-06T00:17:00.003+08:00

i wasn't reali happy at all. i'm now totally veri sad n reali didn't noe wat to do. i reali wants to feel happie, but i reali can't... It's is not easy for me to let go of u, coz my heart for u is true. u told me tat u r juz only a common girl. i reali dun agree, u r totally different frm other girl tat i hav ever met before. To me u are a girl tat is special. i was reali veri sad n unhappie tat i won't be able to win ur heart. i noe u r worry tat dere will be other guy who will be lyk ur ex bf. i reali hope tat i can help u overcome ur problem. i reali can promise u tat i won't be lyk ur ex bf. i will never hurt u. i noe watever thing tat i say will never change at all. all i hope tat u will reali accept me one dae.

2010-06-02T00:54:00.010+08:00

when i listen to tis song, my tears will started to drop frm my eyes and my heart will started to keep bleeding for u, dere is a sound coming frm my heart which i can feel tat something is cracking into pieces.

2010-05-31T22:28:00.008+08:00

Are we at war tonight
will there be angels whispering to midnight
Don't wake when lightning strikes

My heart for you is true
Let no one take that from you
Time is running tight
Can't change from wrong to right

So I'll close my eyes n dream a little
Just like how we used to be baby

It's time to say farewell now
No need to cry of feeling
Oh it's alright
I'll end the of lies

Heaven grant me one last wish i beg you
Let me say these words before i go

I will love you till the end of time
Every breath of mine
I'll hold you by my side
But i will rest in peace
My sweetheart would you
Let me die in your arms with you
Only you can stop the rain tonight
Only you can change my world from black to white
So i'll close my eyes and dream a little more

Are we at war tonight
will there be angel s whispering to midnight
Don't wake when lightning strikes

Heaven grant me one last wish i beg you
Let me say these word before i go

I will love you till the end of time
every breath of mine
I'll hold you by my side
But I'll rest in peace
My sweetheart would you
Let me die in your arms with you
Only you can stop the rain tonight
Only you can get me straight to fight
Till the sky is burning
It's end of time

Look ahead tomorrow
Long and winding road

Keep the faith of mine
Don't let it go
You're the only reason
That i'm growing cold
What would i do
Without you

I'll love you till the end of time
Every breath of mine
I'll hold you by my side
But i'll rest in peace
My sweetheart would you
Let me die in your arms with you
Only you can stop the rain tonight
Only you can make my world so bright
Life no longer end here with you in my heart

In my heart...

2010-05-25T00:12:00.003+08:00

Blog dated 25/5/2010

Todae i was reali totally in no mood to carry on wit my work. thing all didn't goes well on me. no matter how much i do my part or put in effort no one will noe. but when thing reali happened all the blames can be ur fault. who will ever care bout how i was feeling? no ones will care bout me... becoz u all r not putting urself in my shoes. all i can only say is: i failed to do my job.

2010-05-23T00:16:00.005+08:00

hmm, i dun noe wat is wrong wit me todae. my heart is totally feel sour n pain... hope thing will be better for tml...

2010-05-19T01:00:00.009+08:00

hmmm, i reali argee wit xueling tat i am a guy who is veri bored n not entertainment as well. maybe i am not lyk those guys who likes to makes entertainment arounds, tat is why ppl will feel bored to talk to me, becoz i hav no topic to bring it up which can makes them laugh. i can reali understand how u all think bout me in tis way. but maybe u all r wrong to say tat oso, sometimes joke can be offended to ppl or making a entertain for others they might reali feel so pissed off. this is why e reason i reali dun lyk to joke more n make other feel more entertainment, juz worry tat some ppl may get offended easily by ur joke n they thought tat u r making fun of them.

I'm reali veri sorry xueling for making u feel so bored.

2010-05-09T01:29:00.012+08:00

The story started at 8/5/2010... todae i wake up frm my bed at 1.30pm, using computer for awhile b4 heading to work. taking train to boon lay n goes to jp to buy food for myself to eat b4 going to work, n dere is still much time left, so i decided to go walk walk for awhile at jp to kill time. n i saw e time it's bout to go for work le, heading towards bus interchange n waited for 193 for so long bout 15min to 20min. finally e bus came. reached at my work place at bout 4plus i think luckly not late at all. while i was working, i was very worry bout u, n wonder how r u doing during work? coz u r feeling veri sick n unwell, n u still go to work. juz afraid tat ur body won't be able to take it. if i was working at ur outlet i will be able to take care of u. n i already knew earlier tat u will not drink hot tea, n u will drink coke wit salt. becoz no ones lyk to drink tea after all i reali understand, it's ok dun worry u dun nid to say sorry to me alrite. =) as long as u r recovered fast i'm happy for u. alrite=) n i am e one who nid to say sorry to u, didn't noe tat u r sick n i still wan to meet u. i'm veri sorry... reali hope u will recovered fast so tat we can go sing k. alrite=) n something reali corp up at nitez while i was doing closing. reali veri sorry to trouble my mgr ah lee again to clear up my mess for tml. haiz.

2010-05-08T01:06:00.003+08:00

hmmm, todae i hav been busy working frm morning till night. but everything went smoothly without any last order of delivery, hope everydae will be lyk todae but it's impossible. lyk wat every ppl say count by luck. =) sometime i was very busy working, doing my delivery stuff or anything tat is do wit work, i will never eat my lunch or dinner unless i hav fully completed all my stuff den i will go and had my lunch or dinner. honestly sometime i won't even hav time to spare for myself to go n eat. juz now at nitez i dun feel lyk eating n juz eat a glass of dessert.

say goodbye to PMI

2010-05-05T01:00:00.003+08:00

next week 11/5/2010 will be my last dae in PMI, but can reali say can't bear to leave oso, although i hav work so hard for tis 1mth plus as a trainee manager in PMI n left 2mth plus to completed my probation. but in e end i still give up n not handing on to it n endure, coz i noe myself i wont be able become a manager n i noe tat i will not be able to do a good job n somemore e place is reali too far frm my hse. it will oso be hen bu fang bian for me oso. now i was feeling so vexed, reali not sure i can be able to find a job soon. haiz.

2010-05-02T02:30:00.006+08:00

I feel something is missing. when u are not around.

2010-05-01T01:24:00.003+08:00

hmmm, todae after work when to tampines to meet xueling n her frend rong rong tat i juz noe. i was totally veri shy after all. n we wanted to watch movie, but e show will be ending veri late. becoz of me i will miss my last train so all of us canot watch e IP man2 or Iron man2. i was feeling veri bad lyk spoilt market lo. xueling i reali hope tat u will take good care of the drawing tat i drew for u alrite. =) i kept my promise to u, i will never left u behind again. alrite=)

2010-04-30T00:30:00.002+08:00

it has been 1 years plus which i hav not been written any post over here. here i'm back to write. i hav already forget bout e past n eveything tat hav been hurting me for a long time. n dere is no point for me to hold back at all, instead of letting go. and for now onwards i reali dun dare to think bout how my life will be going on. things are hard to say. i was wondering am i reali get hurt again? i oso dun noe, my decision is let fate decide my way bah.

2009-10-29T11:21:00.003+08:00

I reali didn't noe thing will turn out tis way... it reali hurt me, when u treat me so cold towards. juz lyk i hav lost a frend... i juz wondering do u hate me at all...

2009-07-09T22:03:00.003+08:00

haiz... I'm reali not sure wat things reali went wrong. whenever i sent u a msg bout regards frm u, u will never reply me... when i saw u online, n say Hi to u oso e same after all... am i reali did something tat is reali wrong? i now can feel tat u hav been treating me so cold towards...

can't even make up my mind...

2009-05-10T22:05:00.003+08:00

during in-service we hav share a talk together wit all our sir. when we finish our talk n we came in a important topic to talk about our future career in police force n asked us wheather interested to join road career on e 25 may... but i can't even make up my mind wheather wanted to go anot? while my sir asked me wan to go anot? n i reply him, i not so sure n he ask me to make a fast decision in e end i make a fast respond n agree to go on e 25 may... n i reali hope tat i can make up my mind fast before e date comes n i can fill up e form. but i noe tat my sir will recommend me after all... if i reali get in to regular i will be veri happie... but now i not so sure bout it... reali hope can get in ba...

Emo-ing in process...

2009-03-13T22:13:00.003+08:00

this few dae i wasn't feeling good... but i reali didn't wan to talk about it anymore if not it will got to be affected on me... can sae feeling so sad after all. reali no mood to work, but hav to force myself to work. emo-ing during work... n thinking tat i was reali stupid n a fool for not confess tat i like u in e earlier... reali feeling regret... but now it was reali too late...

Heart-Broken...

2009-02-03T22:09:00.002+08:00

Tis few daes i wasn't happie at all, n feeling so sad... but now all i can sae was frm now on everydae is my sad dae n not even a dae was a haapie dae... i reali can't bear to give up on u, no matter how much i tried but still can't give up... maybe u r too important to me, i reali feel so regret for not telling u tat i like u, n now i noe tat u hav bf... i was reali lost n did not noe wat to do next. but i reali wanted to tell u, but i hav no confident enough n i was afraid tat i will be hurt badly again... but now was aready too late to sae... i didn't wan to break u all up... but i juz wan to let u noe tat i will still like u... maybe u will read my blog or maybe u don't...

emo all e times... =(

Happie memories

2009-01-21T22:18:00.003+08:00

I'm still veri happie to hear frm u tat u still keep e winnie the pooh tat i give to u... although we reali hav no fate to be together... it's quite a sad thing... but nvm i still keep tis unforgetable n a happie memories wit me, i was reali veri happy to go to sch wit u esp the first meeting wit u i was so quiet n dun noe wat to talk bout at all. but after a few daes i started to find topic to talk, but not so much la... but after so many years liao. although i'm reali sad or wat, it's doesn't matter at all. i used to it le... all i wan is u muz be happie... dun care bout me wheather i'm sad or not... all e bestz to u...

2009-01-06T22:26:00.002+08:00

haiz... i hav not been a good mood tis few daes, even if i carry on working on my duty i oso won't be happie after all... everything tat i do all e fault will be on me, i dun noe why? can't your understand me well, i reali hav no choice after all, i hav to report to Doso tat all tis silly mistake tat other ppl do. u think i reali wan to report to it, but hen ming xian tat e CCTV hav aready capture it, if i dun report, all e higher rank will be checking e CCTV every moment n time, one ppl kana nvm. but i reali dun wish u all to kana scolded for nth... now i'm doing all tis oso got wrong la. Maybe after all i'm not fit to become a good police officer... if u think u doing e rite thing u go ahead n do it... i will never care anymore... haiz... now e working daes for me is not in a good mood. i will not be happie again... =( tis thing will never end 4ever...

2008-12-29T22:02:00.003+08:00

long time haven update blog liao... saturday came back frm work, n afternoon go to nan dai to find my bro... after tat go Jp to meet our another brothers. n we go smoke, but i dun hav xiang yan wit me den me go 7 eleven buy xiang yan n we smoke first den go mac to eat dinner... after dinner den go walk walk... go arcade play game... buy movie ticket, watch movie at 12am to 2.30am... after movie me n my brothers go nan dai coffee shop drink beer... slack unitl 6.00am... talk cock n smoke to kill our boring life... lol...

2008-12-15T22:05:00.003+08:00

I was thinking back of the past last few daes, dere is certain thing tat is not easy for saying forget bout everything n will be able to forget... It's not tat i dun wan to forget all e unhappie thing, but i was reali can't bear to let go of it... Although now i reali can't bear to let go but no choice i hav to let go of it... but at least we hav meet up for e first date for meeting each other, while i was shopping wit u, i was reali feel so happie becoz i hav someone lyk u to talk to. but i reali wan to thanks u for sharing ur fav chocolate wit me, tat i hav buy for u... I will never forget tis part of happie memory forever...

I was reali regret for not telling u tat i reali lyk u... becoz i oso dun even noe e ans is acceptable or unacceptable. but i reali can comfirm u sure give e ans is unacceptable...

No matter wat, now i reali hope u two will hav a happie ending...

But now all i hope tat i can ask u out again... but maybe dere is no more any chance.

Be happie n content wit everything u reali hav, n cherish e person tat is always stay by ur side...

u will happened to read my blog one dae...

2008-12-08T11:37:00.003+08:00

sat, afternoon me n my bro go jp interchange buy xiang yan... Lol e aunty ask me for IC can't she noe i above 18yrs old. after tat take 242 bus go lam dai find my brothers, reach lam dai den me n my bro smoke while walking to find my frend. my frend come n find us, n we go to coffeeshop to makan... finish liao me n my bro go my frend hse for awhile den we go down to meet them, we sit at e hut dere to slack n smoke. n my frend foget to take his hp n went up to take, awhile came down n we go take cab to arena to play pool... i started to begin so down dun noe why... n i go out to smoke... playing bout 8plus den we heading to jp to eat mac n we go slack first den we go buy ticket to watch movie... e show zheng ren nice sio... n e show started at 11.45pm still hav time we go play arcade, n it bout to start liao... we went to smoke first den we go buy drink... finish e show we go slack for awhile den we go hm liao... damn tiring...

2008-11-30T18:40:00.002+08:00

yesterdae go to lam dai find my frend den we go meet my another bro at jp... n my frend comes we go jp walk walk n shop n my frend bought a zinc bag... after tat my another oso coming to join us, me n my frend go eat mac... after tat slack awhile... den go star factory to play game... 9plus go watch movie, stupid movie make me giddy n feel lyk vomiting... after tat ok liao... finish movie go slack den go back hm liao...

2008-11-27T20:00:00.002+08:00

haiz... reali feeling so down tis few daes... n i reali dun noe wat to do next? hmmm, reali hope tat i can be lyk last tym, but i noe it's is impossible... it will not happened... i noe no matter how much i care for u, will never touched ur heart. but i noe, ur heart still hav him n reali not easy to let go of it... u will still care for him, am i right? all i can do is to stand aside doing nth at all... maybe i noe i'm not so important to u ba... haiz... =(

2008-11-23T21:36:00.003+08:00

yesterdae go celebrate my bro birthdae, den we go jurong point meet them n wait for my other frend to come fetch us to parkland n we go for dinner... after dinner we slack awhile n decided where to go? my other bro go back wit his gf. n we decided to go power hse to club... order 2 jar of voka n den we go dance after tat follow my frend go smoke... den we feel thirsty n we buy 1 jar of ribenna voka n we share, after tat my frend go buy a jar beer n we share together den we go back to dance floor to dance. happie dancing n enjoy e music, felt a bit tired den me n my frend go smoke, den go slack first den start to dance un til 4.30am my frend go buy a jar of beer me n my frend go buy a glass of green tea. see ppl dance for awhile den finally ended... we go out to slack n me my frend need to go hm n ask my frend e frend to fetch us go hm... me reach hm at bout 5.30am. slept for 30 min wake up go to work aready, afternoon slept in ops room for awhile... finally 8.00pm liao go hm rest...

2008-11-21T15:09:00.003+08:00

It's not easy to gain a trust frm ur friends... maybe u still dun trust me so much yet. i understand...

2008-11-20T14:22:00.004+08:00

i noe tat certain thing no matter how u change will oso be the same... for example, a rotten apple juz lyk me is always a rotten apple... ppl will always choose the better apple rather den the rotten apple, no matter how u change it will never become a perfect apple after all. nothing is so good bout me... no matter how hard i work in the end the result will still be the same... maybe wat my new buddy said to me is true, u are not a good looking guy after all, the girl tat u reali like see you may run away or maybe they will not be frend wit u... i'm suck ok... i'm not any better after all... maybe i'm forever a rotten apple tat no one will care at all... i'm reali not worth for u to love or to care for me after all... =(

maybe tat is my fate no one can change it...

2008-11-16T19:53:00.002+08:00

Yesterdae work was damn boring... but time flies fast... den after work go to suntec to find my brothers, n we eat at pizza hut e food was quite ok... Happie birthdae bro... after finish eating went to slack after tat my frend was not feeling well n he left together wit my bro... den we say goodbye to each other. so sad canot go clubbing together, but in e end me n my other bro go clubbing n we jio our veri best frend to go... we take bus to vivo city n wait for our frend to come, he came so late,but nvm we go together to power house e Q was so long... but quite fast oso, my frend go n apply for member... den we go in to club happie... but three of my frend outside, muz wait for them so long. somemore outside still got ppl fighting stupid sia... waste time... den we go buy 2 jar of voka, me not feeling well oso juz drink... den we go dance le... happie sio... enjoy ourself... dance until morning 3.45am my frend go find tables n he buy 1 bottle of liquors.. until closing we go back hm liao...

2008-11-09T20:00:00.002+08:00

a few dae never write blog liao, coz i was falling sick... now back to write le... actually now i hav nth to say at all... coz i was falling sick veri seriously n did'nt hav any wei kou to eat. lucky now i feeling much much better liao... got to take good care of myself...

everything seem to be happened on me...

2008-11-05T19:05:00.003+08:00

haiz, everything seem to be happened on me everytym... reali hav no mood... everydae oso e same... hate my team mate, if u dare or hav guts dun talk behind my back, come talk to me... feel lyk a knife stabbing at my back. me now veri fan ar... maybe tml e dae oso e same... moodless... =(

2008-11-04T11:40:00.004+08:00

I reali did not noe wat to do now... i'm reali veri veri sad ok, watever thing tat i do now oso i dun feel lyk doing it. i reali dun noe wat to do next? i hav lost my confidence n reali dun hav e courage to tell u tat i reali like u... i hav keeping tis word in my heart for a long time... will anyone noe how i feel? the ans is no one will noe how i was feeling rite now, i reali can't be happie anymore wat i used to be lyk last time. maybe i not worth for ppl to care for me... everything tat i do will never make me happie forever... maybe tis is how my life will be going on in e future ba... everything oso did'nt goes well to me... maybe i'm not a better guy after all ba.

Life is reali suck... =(

2008-11-03T21:33:00.002+08:00

Todae was reali fuck up ok... i hate one of my team mate veri fuck up wan showing me attitude problem . I was quite angry aready ok... dun come n find trouble wit me asshole... den go patrol wit my another team mate n i reali never talk to him... Sorry my frend, it not tat i dun wan to talk to u, i was reali veri sad n unhappie, juz wan to be alone... =( everything did'nt go well to me at all... so veri sorry... me reali hav a fucking life...

2008-11-02T19:03:00.005+08:00

yesterdae came back frm work... rest until afternoon den go nan dai find my brothers, reach dere at around 2.30pm meet them n den talk talk... after me n my brothers meet my another brother at blk void deck. den we take bus to jurong point n heading towards vivo. me totally not in a mood n totally sad, didn't talk wit them. reach vivo den we go hawker center makan, after we makan go slack awhile. den we go harbourfront shopping n we go to baby changing room

taking photo coz e mirror quite big.

my pic not so nice... me totally veri sad n no moods to take pic...

den we go to vivo wanted to watch movie but e seat all full, den we meet some of our girl friend an old classmate. we go up to e top to slack n go arcade play game... n i walk out frm arcade i stand aside alone feeling so sad n no mood... everything tat i do now will not make me happie at all forver... haiz... den go wit my brothers to e pet shop see cat n dog cut hair. after tat slack for a while, i watching e sky so nice at nitez n saw only 1 star on e sky. we so hungry den go eat long john silver. my frend they all talk talk i was so quiet eating my combo 1 me dun hav any wei kou to eat... after tat we planning to go hm liao, den my frend ask we all wan to go halo bar anot. we reply dun noe, after tat we decide to go, den take train towards clementi n transfer bus alighted at ngee ann poly den we walk in to ngee ann poly to halo bar... e road of e slope so long sia. we finally reach blk 75. den we go in to take a seat my frend order a jar of beer, me n my frend play pool... den after a while long we go back to together, take cab go back hm. reach hm 2.45am... finish shower den go to zzz...

2008-10-30T14:07:00.002+08:00

todae morning wake up at 5.30am to call ops room to reported sick... den when back to bed n zzz, den wake up at bout 8.50am to see doctor not feeling well, doctor give me 1 dae MC. den go n hav breakfast after tat take bus go hm n hav a quick bath, take medication n switch on my computer watch movie at tudou, juz finishing watching bu lao chuan shuo... quite nice e show but veri old drama already, bout zoombie... now not feeling any mood...

2008-10-29T13:33:00.002+08:00

no matter wat thing i willing to do for u, but e result in the end still e same i will never be happie but will be sad... It's hard to begin happie... all i can said is: life is so meanless...

2008-10-28T10:12:00.002+08:00

i hav keeping all e words tat i wan to say in my heart... i reali wanted to tell u i reali lyk u, n wanna be wit u... but i still can't say out, maybe i hav lost my confidence... n juz afraid tat u will avoid me n i will lose a frend lyk u... But now i dun care bout all tis, i juz wan u to noe i reali lyk u n wanna be wit u, no matter how hard e path tat u are walking, i'm willing to accompany u to walk though the end of e path.

I promise u: I will always show care n concern for u, stay by ur side no matter wat happened n never leave u aside.

I promise u: I will always protect u, everydae, every hour, every min n every seconds.

I promise u: I will never do anything stupid or watever thing tat will hurt u so badly.

I promise u: let me be the one who suffer e pain n everything for u alright.

I promise u: I will bright up ur life full of joy n happy at all times

I reali mean all the words tat i said... i reali lyk u n wanna be wit u...

malaysia trip

2008-10-26T18:56:00.002+08:00

todae wake damn early go for breakfast, den go take train to kranji den transfer to bus going to woodland checkpoint... e malaysia customs damn crowded sia, lot of ppl... after tat go to shopping mall n go eat mac, after eating we go shopping i hav bought a polo tee shirt, a pair of everlast shoes n a poker belt... den go slack... after tat take cab to holidae plaza to shop n nth to buy over dere... den go n hav dinner... after tat time to go back hm liao... so tiring...

todae was a boring outing wit my brothers...

2008-10-26T01:03:00.002+08:00

go jurong point to meet my frend, den we go arcade juz watching ppl playing game n do nth over dere den me n my frend go walk out of arcade den we saw so many ah beng outside of e arcade. i suspect they r waiting to beat someone, me n my frend didn't care bout them n juz walk off... we go eat long john tgt, damn full sia... i order combo 1 n one potato salad, e potato salad damn nice muz try... after we go somewhere slack awhile, i heard my frend he aready submitted his online form to SPF to become a regular police officer after he ORD in Ns... but i tell him i dun noe wan to sign on anot? if i wan to sign on can de, if next tym i work outside my paid so low... if i sign on, my paid will hav 1k plus... now me still consider wheather to sign on anot, now my HEAD BIG BIG ar... still thinking... den we take 193 bus go arena to pool... play until 1200am, den take cab go hm... so sian... Tml going to malaysia for 1 dae trip... enjoy...

2008-10-24T18:17:00.002+08:00

yesterdae nitez so lucky sia, raining dun nid go patrol all e way stay in ops room... after a while it was veri heavy rain, n i go locked e gym without wearing rain-coat... juz kena a bit of rain n i feel a bit cold while in ops room. my buddy bought some hari raya crackers for us to eat damn nice sia. n i eat some cream lemon biscuit n i hav bought myself a packet of nasi-ayam n peel fresh apple juice n small bottle of water. den it's our turn to TOD liao... at sentry hut boring sio, me stand at outside Emo alone. but dun feel lyk talking, juz glazing at e rain... after tat my buddy ask me wan to eat Mcchicken burger, i reply dun wan n they told me juz take sir treat us mac... den i say ok lor... den i feel hungry i eat my nasi-ayam tat i hav bought. todae morning 5.30am den i eat e mcchicken burger. until 8.00am go hm rest...

Ns life so boring...

2008-10-22T21:27:00.002+08:00

todae working damn boring sia... i talk to my frend u so good lor 7 more mth ORD aready, me still hav to serve another 17 more mth... can't wait to finish Ns asap... den i go ask my sir can a pply leave on sundae, he reply can... yeah!!! so good sundae going to malaysia for 1 dae wit my brother n mom. Got to buy alot of stuff... can't wait to go malaysia on sundae, coz long tym never go le. since i enlistment to ns, working so no tym to enjoy... got to enjoy now if not reali regret...

update soon... =)

boring life

2008-10-21T18:22:00.002+08:00

todae whole dae doing nth at hm... so sian... haiz, my leg now abit zhong sia... dun noe why maybe e boots tat i wearing in work ba.

2008-10-20T19:19:00.002+08:00

Maybe i'm not worth for u to luv me n to care for me... i'm not any better den u guys hav a good future ahead... everything tat i do is suck, nth goes well to me at all... sadness is always on me, but happiness will never come forever... =(

no one will cares bout me...

2008-10-20T10:39:00.003+08:00

haiz, yesterdae i was totally whole dae no mood ok... feeling so sad... while i was working wit my frend, i stand near e main entrance alone by myself n didn't hav mood to joke n talk wit them.

Actually i wanted to tell u tat i reali lyk u... I noe tat u are sad n down, n oso noe it's hard to accept... But i reali veri sad to see u in tis state, n i oso noe tat watever i do will never touched ur heart, but i will not give up easily i will do my veri best to make u forget bout e past n e unhappie memory. i will make u happie at all time without fail juz to see u smile again :) When u are sad, i will always stay by ur side n lent u my shoulder to lie on it. If u cry, i will give u a tissues to wipe ur tears. If u get hurts, let me be e wan who suffer e pain, hurts n everything for u. When u are happie, let's share e happiness n everything together... In my heart u are a only ger i like, no one can be replaced...Everything tat i willing to do for u, It's worth it...

Times will healed e wounds...

I will always be dere for u...

no matter how much i do for u oso no use, coz i noe tat u still lyk ur ex-bf veri much... nowadae i dun hav any wei kou to eat anything at all... for me my health is not important den anything else, most important is i care for u is enough... reali hope tat u can give me a chance...

2008-10-19T00:33:00.006+08:00

yesterdae wake up damn late, no work todae coz i apply leave so far no one disturb me... afternoon 4.15pm leave house going to arena meet my brothers playing pool at dere. i lost quite many times, me so noob... den we meet our another bro at jurong east entertainment to celebrate his gf birthdae. n he brought a cake for her, den we walk to science centre n we go to sakura book a seat n all of us r here. so we went in to hav our food so nice sia, me n my frend go take more food, got sushi, laksa, seafood, chicken hotdog, tian ping, cake n shark fin... we enjoy e food so much... we eat until so full, lazy to walk. finish our dinner we go outside slack n take some of e pic...

den todae i feeling so down...haiz... wat should i do next? =(

dun ask me why i hav become lyk tis... juz lyk me be...

Haiz...

sian

2008-10-17T23:48:00.002+08:00

todae wake up so early to go for breakfast, after breakfast take train to bukit gombak n transfer a shuttle bus to BBDC to register n wanted to book a theory for todae. but so sad, tis mth was full booked, n next mth nov i hav work sia so canot muz wait until dec den hav place... wow so long sia... den after tat go hm le.

2008-10-16T20:56:00.002+08:00

now i was thinking back bout wat my buddy has juz say to me, u should go n study again when u ORD to get a good GPA. but i say my GPA is low the percentage of getting to higher nitec is risky... i noe tat i will never make it... my nitec cert is juz considered as N lvl... my future now is gone, n i can't go any further...i'm not any better den u guys n capable of everything tat u can do... i such a failure ok... i reali give up on myself, i do not hav any hope to pin on... even e ger i reali lyk i oso noe tat i'm not worth to be wit her... wat if i tell u i reali lyk u n wanna be wit u, ur ans sure will be no, u sure will avoid me de... everything tat i do is suck... =(

2008-10-16T11:54:00.002+08:00

yesterdae was working in e nitez shift, until 9plus i not feeling well... but never report sick to my sir at all... i juz hack care about my health, den i was wit my buddy tgt working n we chat alot... I reali hope n congrate my buddy tat he will pass e interview to become a regular police officer, my sense tell me tat he will make it. N my buddy ask me wan to sign on, i reply i dun noe if i sign on they will give shit work to do... den he told me tat they will ask u wat posting u wan, den i reply ok. i ask my buddy, CID n CNB nitec cert can, he told me canot but muz hav higher nitec considerate as O lvl n dipoma cert den can. den i tell him, i wan sign on to CID or CNB, since u tell me canot den i will not sign on, becoz i can't even get in to higher nitec so forget about it... den my buddy ask me to study den i tell him my GPA so low canot la... no hope already... den i at ops room i feel myself veri uncomfortable, coz not feeling well... so no choice hav to bear wit it until morning... todae morning eat breakfast wit my buddy at canteen i buy myself a instant noodles, bread n soya bean. my buddy told me tat e guy was standing hav dropped his warrant card on e floor without knowing it, n i walk beside him n pick up his warrant card n returned to him, n he sae to me thank you veri much. if we did'nt notice, he will hav to make a police report, veri troublesome. finished breakfast we went back to ops room n conducted flag-rasing. wait for next team to come den we go hm... after tat i go to ATM to withdraw money to see doctor, take bus for 15min-20min... see e doctor oso quite cheap coz i'm regular patient den never increase at all juz for me. finish seeing doctor den i go eat something for lunch... den go back hm bath n take my medication...

2008-10-15T17:27:00.002+08:00

no one will understand me n noe how i feel at all... you will never noe...

2008-10-13T14:38:00.002+08:00

About myself, i guess maybe i'm not a better guy after all ba... tis is wat i think bout myself...

2008-10-12T19:53:00.002+08:00

todae morning came back frm duty, yesterdae nitez i was reali veri angry wit tat person tat i reali can't stand him at all... wat was he trying to tell me? telling me tat he is big fuck or watever thing tat he do is rite... if u reali wan to talk to me, talk to me in a nice manner, but he talk to me veri rude. when i was at locker he come n talk to me n say u tonitez better dun be funny... when i was packing my thing i got shock, i never even offended him at all n tis is how he talk to me. wtf!!! i dun care u big fuck or watever la... If u reali not happie wit me or watever come n talk to me face to face... be a man lah... n i reali dun lyk to work wit him sia... n i told my buddy bout tis incident, my buddy say he veri fuck up, attitude problem n lyk to sabo ppl...n my buddy told me dun care bout him, i reply my buddy say i can't be bother wit him. he still left two more mth to ORD. i reali wish he can quickly get out of my sight.

2008-10-11T16:23:00.003+08:00

Todae go down to town alone... no mood to shop, den went to arcade play maxium tune3... after tat go ms for a while den go mac buy ice-cream only... n i didn't eat my lunch coz no mood to eat... feeling so sad tis few daes. haiz... den go to harbourfront find my frend at shops. i think after my ORD i going to work as promoter. den walk walk at vivo, den go to arcade for a while... den go hm liao...

Tonitez got to work nitez shift... haiz no mood to work... =(

2008-10-10T21:24:00.003+08:00

haiz, todae reali not in a mood to work... sad... while i was doing duty, i saw a group of student they hav quite a lot of frends tgt going out... i reali feel happie for them... but me i hav not much frends at all... haiz... sad... thinking back to last tym, i was working in pastamania n i saw a group of ppl celebrate birthdae wit his frend happily... n i feel happie for e guy tat hav lot of frend celebrate wit him. but for me every year my birthdae comes no one celebrate wit me... feeling so sad... but it's ok la... i used to it le... Next year my birthdae coming i noe tat no one will celebrate wit me de... maybe i hav no much frend ba... After tat finish duty go patrol wit my frend, feeling so sad while patrol... haiz...den finish duty go hm le...

=(

2008-10-09T18:59:00.002+08:00

i felt tat i'm reali useless, no matter how much i do will never make u happie... haiz...

Tml i hav no mood to work at all... =(

2008-10-08T20:21:00.002+08:00

Maybe wo zai ni xin mu zhong not so important ba... no matter how much i do for u oso no use... haiz, everything hav change... reali change... =(

2008-10-08T19:22:00.002+08:00

I will willing to accompany u to walk down tis time of darkness, without leaving u...

Everything tat i say now is reali frm my heart...

2008-10-06T21:32:00.003+08:00

todae wake up late to work... reach base 8.15am... den do my duty, halfway mediacorp came to shooting an ad of some of our SOC troop for a short video of next year or next esp of crime watch. n my buddy haffiz was oso got shooting in an act while hit e ''dong''... den go patrol wit my team mate n saw e trooper wear e uniform damn cool man. den go to canteen to eat breakfast. after tat went down to sentry damn sian sia... i feel sad when in sentry hut... dun noe why... den until at nitez finish go hm le...

2008-10-05T19:53:00.003+08:00

todae i was emo e whole dae... went to suntec walk walk n den go arcade awhile play catcher wanna kena e winnie e pooh so cute oso. but never kena. den go to ms play catcher again. i play catcher n i kena e bear...

I feeling so emo...

2008-10-05T19:10:00.003+08:00

yesterdae came back frm work n rest for awhile den afternoon go find my brothers at jurong east entertainment. den i went to ice-skating to find them. me n my frend sit dere watching them skating. after tat me n my frend went to skate. my first tym in ice-skating sia. hav to support my frend n skate. my frend oso fell down. me n my frend skate tgt n i fell down, my frend hold me up. after tat i go skate alone by myself, n i skate halfway lost my balance i fell down infront of one girl, i damn pai seh sia n get up by myself n trying to balance in e end lost balance fell again. after tat my frend was skating happie in e end he oso fell down. finishing ice-skating at 7.30pm. den went to hav our dinner at mac. finish dinner slack awhile rounds thinking where to go, at last going to jp. waiting for 79 bus so long sia... reach jp at bout 9.30pm. went to arcade wit my frends. i spent quite alot of money in arcade bcoz of tat catcher nearly wan to kena e mickey mouse damn cute. but nver kena... den my frend spent $22 to play slacker n wanna kena ps3. but never kena at all... todae not our lucky dae... den go slack around after tat go hm.

2008-10-03T11:42:00.002+08:00

Todae i was reali hav no mood to do anything... haiz...

everything affect my mood...

2008-10-02T22:25:00.003+08:00

Todae working i was damn sad... n did not do well in my work, everything affect my mood... haiz... n i oso dun care wheather i do well or not... juz hack care... no mood in everything... coz i noe no one will cares bout me, n wat for i care bout myself... i was useless... always useless... Arghhhh!!!!!!

sad =(

2008-10-01T22:32:00.004+08:00

Todae i hav been sad for whole dae... n i did not hav wei kou to eat juz eat a little, watever thing i do reali hav no mood to do it... reali feeling sad n down... u will never noe how i feeling rite now... haiz... why why why!!!!!!!

For u to noe...

2008-10-01T00:27:00.009+08:00

I noe tat u are sad n down, n oso noe it's hard to accept... But i reali veri sad to see u in tis state, n i oso noe tat watever i do will never touched ur heart, but i will not give up easily i will do my veri best to make u forget bout e past n e unhappie memory. i will make u happie at all time without fail juz to see u smile again :) When u are sad, i will always stay by ur side n lent u my shoulder to lie on it. If u cry, i will give u a tissues to wipe ur lei. If u get hurts, let me be e wan who suffer e pain, hurts n everything for u. When u are happie, let's share e happiness n everything together... In my heart u are a only ger i like, no one can be replaced...

Everything tat i willing to do for u, It's worth it...

Times will healed e wounds...

I will be dere for u...

bout myself...

2008-09-30T10:39:00.005+08:00

everything seem to be sad for me... haiz... maybe i reali dun noe wat to do... wat will happened next?

damn slack n sian sia...

2008-09-28T22:07:00.003+08:00

Todae wake up damn early n go to kou fu for breakfast juz eating soon kueh n carrot cake n a cup of coffee only den go for work. lucky todae i never do any duty at all juz only in ops room doing operated. haha damn slack, lunch tym i never eat coz canteen never open n i dun wan to trouble ppl to buy food for me, so i prefer go diet lor... lol... den afternoon i forget to bring my psp so i lent psp frm my frend n play a soccer match wit my buddy. i lose e match... :( i'm juz too weak ba... den i go patrol wit my frend after tat come back to ops room, den go another tym wit my frend. sian sia... finish patrol went back to ops room rest. but i sit at e chair i fell as aszzz. coz todae zzz a few hours only den go to work. den wake up awhile. my lips still abit zhong sia, n my leg e wound still haven recovered n abit zhong. haiz. den 8.00pm go home le... yeah... finally haha... tml hav to work nitez shift...

shopping

2008-09-28T00:21:00.004+08:00

Todae go meet my frend at orchard mrt control station n we tgt go to far east to shop. but we walk around far east i dun hav anything to buy, but for her she bought a pair of shoes. hmmm, my taste not bad rite... lol... n we oso went to takashimaya to shop but down dere thing r quite expen, n we go to cold storage i wanted to buy drink but we walk pass e chocolate n candy store n i saw ur fav chocolate, n i buy for u n i went to find my drink but i prefer to buy soy bean, n we went to e cashier for e payment. after tat she decided to go find one place to slack den i say ok.n i giv her e chocolate n we shared after tat i decided to go to Hmv to find my stuff but in e end bought nth. while shopping we talk n smiling away. den after a while she decided to go hm, den we go take train tgt. we drop off at lakeside den i tell her i accompany u go hm coz it's too late le. n not safe for u to go hm alone. after sending her home, i go meet my frend at jurong east. they will playing ice-skating n i go for my dinner at mac.after tat i go arcade for a while, den i go meet my frend at pool. after tat some of my frend was hungry n we go to kfc tgt, they bought their food n i juz buy a reg of mountain dew. n we slack awhile in kfc, after tat i go hm le...

me todae so pity sia...

2008-09-26T11:16:00.003+08:00

Todae juz come back home to slack... yesterdae working was quite fun wit some of my team mate, coz i always disturb n jokes around wit my buddy, he lyk to talk a lot of craps around us but was damn funny n times files fast. today morning was very sian nth to do, but feel lyk sleeping, n while finish my duty i went back to ops room to help my frend put some stuff n i went to e toilet for awhile, N after awhile i came out frm e toilet. Guess wat happened??? i went back to e ops room n i did'nt notice tat e the shuttle was opened halfway, after i walked towards n bang on it. After banging i quickly went back to e toilet and i found out tat my lips keep bleeding n i keep washing my lips, until my sir came in n saw my lips bleeding he ask me to go take some tissues n placed e tissues at my lips n also asking me to stop e bleeding n went to take some ice after i stopped my bleeding... until morning i went back hm, halfway i hav fall n injured my leg n i take a look at it. It started to bleed, but lucky it was juz only a pi wai shang. haiz... me today so pity sia...

Overslept...

2008-09-24T21:33:00.003+08:00

Today i wake up late coz i overslept... n went to work late... one times nvm, go never kana scold lucky. den stay inside ops room doing nth, after tat went for breakfast. until 11am den go down to main gate to do duty.untill afternoon i go back to ops room to do some stuff, while my other team mate went to patrol n i hav to written e record. About 5pm went to sentry to do some stuff recording till 6.00pm i came out is my turn standing outside wit my team mate. after a while my team mate check e book, n found out tat i write his name in a wrong spelling. n tis stupid idiot give me a harsh so badly, i apologise to him said tat i not gu yi write wrong de... n he not happie throw e book infront of me... WTH... i already apologise n told him everybody make mistake. but he still not happie den i dun care him... haiz...

whenever i'm feeling down and sad... i reali need someone to talk to, but i reali did not wan to trouble u. coz i noe u will be busy.

slack all e way...

2008-09-23T19:25:00.003+08:00

Todae afternoon playing maple for awhile. after tat den i draw a pic of a hello kitty for quite sometime of it, but i think it's is worth it to draw. i reali hope tat u will lyk veri much. for my hard work.

haiz, wat should i do?

2008-09-22T10:52:00.003+08:00

Yesterdae was doing nitez shift, n i was in e ops room doing nth at all, n i sitted dere quietly alone thinking of something else while my frend was doing their stuff. but me myself is reali feeling down n sad n didn't noe wat to do at all.while i patrol with my frend i oso talk less to him. finish patrol we went back to ops room coz it was a heavy rain. after 5am we go down to sentry to continues our duty till morning. n we go go back home liao.

Todae so sad n unhappie... haiz...

2008-09-21T02:46:00.003+08:00

Todae morning can't zzz well dun noe why? n got to wake up so early to go to work. so sianz...
N reach e base at bout 6.59am n change up everything n went to canteen to buy breakfast, n saw my best frend, frend n sir sitting n i join them having breakfast. My frend they all left first, n i finish my breakfast i went to ops room sit down for awhile n all my team arrived my sir ask we all to collect our stuff. N all fall in tgt n i going in to ops room to rest awhile, after doing my own stuff, but todae reali sad n unhappie n dun feel lyk talking. haiz... at 11.00am went down to sentry hut to take over duty slack all e way until 2.00pm den go back to ops room. n didn't eat my lunch at all, coz canteen half dae. N i same wit malay ppl all fasting until nitez den eat my dinner. after went to patrol wit my team mate i was quiet n without saying a words. n my team mate asked me why i never talk, i replied them nth. coz i dun wish to talk n juz slient. den until 8.00pm i report off for duty. went up to my locked change up everything n go meet my brothers.

I walked to e bus stop n waiting for bus to arrived, after a few mins bus came n i boarded e bus n drop off at commonwealth MRT. n i was going to take mrt to orchard to find my brothers. about 25- 30mins reach orchard, n alighted e mrt. n i was heading towards takashimaya to find them at e kfc. but they hav already eaten n i haven even eat. den i go buy mac, juz only mchicken n a cup of drink tat all for my dinner. n we walk around takashimaya for awhile n we go back n take mrt to jurong point.

Me n my brothers r walking tgt toward mrt station, n my frend n brothers r talking bout jokes n craps n they laughed tgt. N i was putting an act in laughing n smile, but actually i was emo, n i did not wan to make them worry bout me... so no choice...when reaching jurong point we all go to arcade n play games. n we r going to watch movie THE DAYS at 11.30pm still hav time n we play arcade until 11.30pm, n we leave arcade to e xi yuan to buy drink n hot dog. e show was bout to start soon. E show of THE DAYS is nice la, but at first is too voilents n e ending is sad. e story of e show bout is gangsters. After watching finish e show me, my frend n brothers. was saying goodbye to each other. take cab go hm n cab fare cost bout $15.50. n reach hm bout 2.00am hav a bath. online awhile n hav zzz.

Damn tired n sian

2008-09-18T22:02:00.000+08:00

Morning wake up early n go for breakfast after tat come back home to slack n playing computer, N afternoon bout 2.15pm went for lunch after tat going to supermarket to buy some snack for nitez shift. Den go home slack until 6.15pm go for dinner n slack at foodcourt for awhile, den i go to e bus stop and waited for e bus to arrived, wait for a few mins bus arrived, i alighted frm bus near e soc base.

N i went in e base it's around 7.15Pm, but i was early den e rest of u LOL... getting change everything n fall in for briefing... everytym briefing si bei sian ar. haiz... no choice... after i stay in ops room doing nth, but i keep taking paper frm e self, becoz i want to draw. keeping drawing of car n pig. until not so sianz. Tis is e pig tat i draw:

How was it? Izit nice? can give some comments? Thanks...

until 11.00pm me n my two friend going down to sentry hut to do duty... we will talking craps n joke to pass our tym fast. n we had our supper,i was eating my orea waffer not so nice too much cream le. until 2am we back to ops room n my other team mate came to take over our duty. so happie can sleep in ops room. oops... =X but so sad no zzzing for me got to go patrol with my team mate tgt. after patrol e time was 2.35am. n we order mac. n i took a nap for awhile 3.20am i wake up n i saw my mchicken burger is at e table n i go eat my burger yummy. lol... after finish ing get to nap for awhile.

so fast 5am got to go take over duty liao... damn tired sia... how? i stand outside for 1hrs feel sleepy. face lyk blur sotong... lol... finally 1 hrs pass fast n i get inside sentry hut to take a nap. but ppl disturb me again by exchange pass... argh!!! no time to sleep liao... sian lor... 7am flag-rasing... then stand at outside another hrs. haiz... sad lor. lucky morning shift ppl come aready... later go back can rest. whooo 8am liao it's tym to go back le. got to get some rest... afternoon going to town.

Slacking at hm...

2008-09-18T07:02:00.002+08:00

Todae wake up veri early bout 9.30am... =X N went for breakfast after tat go back hm to slack. keep online n playing com, bcoz nth to do mah. so sian... n search for blogskin, search until siao. den go for lunch.

Den now back to maple liao... choing all e way to lvl up n my att not so high leh. sad lor. but nvm... here is e pic tat i shotsrceen... Lol...

after tat i log off maple liao. den i go see my psp movie downloaded finish le mah. finally finish le den i transfer e movie to my psp n upload some song. den i take some nap for awhile, after tat around 6.00pm go n hav a dinner. juz eat abit of bee hoon n hav a drink den full liao... am i on diet??? maybe... LOL... den go hm slack agian... todae damn sian... haiz...

Oh my god... tml is my working shift again. so sian ar... some more morning shift...

i going to iron my own uniform liao, i good boy hor, iron my uniform by myself. finally finish iron liao got to slack for awhile, i think i going to meet my frends after finishing my duty.